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Your Invitation to Act

I'm on a mission.

I'm looking for people who want to try doing what I'm doing. I am acting on stage as a way to raise money for a worthy not-for-profit theatre company.

Why I'm Doing It
It's for a lot of reasons. Mainly, I enjoy it.

But that's too self-serving to admit. So here's my public reason...

This not-for-profit theatre company — let's just call it "Available Light" — has a do-gooder attitude about serving everyone in the community, without regard to anyone's ability to pay for fancy theatre tickets. So all their shows offer tickets at the awkward price of Pay What You Want.

The shows I am in, however, are designed to generate funds for the otherwise risky Pay What You Want offer. So — for these shows only — we charge a minimum price ($15) and swoon whenever anyone pays more than that.

Selling Out
We call these shows "sell outs." We mean that in both senses of the word:

Economically, we seek to sell out at the box office. So far, we've sold approximately 3,000 tickets to the shows wherein I have tripped dangerously close to "acting." We actually sold out twice during the most recent run.

Artistically, we recognize that we are (somewhat) selling out by choosing plays that are more popular than the more challenging and original fare of Available Light's regular season. It's not a real soul-sucking artistic sell out: we manage to find plays that are deeply meaningful and satisfying. They're just popular — is that so wrong? 

Who I'm Looking For
I seek:

1. People who want to try acting. The ideal candidate has not been on stage as an actor in many years — or ever. This person feels like a ham, but canned and ready to come off the shelf.

2. People who seek a self-actualizing experience. This might feel (in the ideal candidate) like a gnawing hunger for a new creative risk and — hey! — maybe acting is the right risk.

3. People who want to be immersed in a worthy text. The next show is To Kill A Mockingbird, arguably the best novel ever written. There is no better way to read a book — than to read it with friends learning how to act the book.

4. People who are willing to work on this. The ideal candidate will come to rehearsals, ready to work. Some roles are smaller than others. For those who want dip a toe in the water: townspeople. For those who want to jump in: there are lines to be memorized.

5. People who are willing to audition with Ian Short. (See details below.) At the audition, the ideal candidate will have some natural presence and will respond to direction — and be a person that Ian can see filling one of the roles. You don't have to be a pro. Amateurs encouraged and trained!

6. People who have a large social network. The ideal candidate will attract a couple hundred people to buy tickets. Perhaps those so-called friends just want to see what the heck is [Louie] doing. That's OK. These are fundraisers, so selling of tickets is important.

Can you think of this person? If so, let me know.

Even if this person is you.

The Audition and Show Details

Audition for To Kill a Mockingbird dramatized by Christopher Sergel from the Pulitzer prize-winning 1960 novel by Harper Lee. Directed by Ian Short.

OPEN CALL: Friday, January 29, 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. (show-up anytime)
OPEN CALL: Saturday, January 30, 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. (show-up anytime)
CALLBACKS: Sunday, January 31, 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. (by invitation only)

Location: the Vern Riffe Center - Enter on State Street, go to the third floor and you'll be escorted to the audition room.

Performances June 24-27, 2010. Most rehearsals will be in the evening, Sundays-Thursdays, beginning in May.

This is an independent, community theatre production and a fundraiser for Available Light Theatre. Actors will not be paid.

REQUIRED: One monologue, two minutes or less, prepared material preferred; cold readings will be available for those who need them.

CALLBACKS: If you are called back, you will be notified by email by 11 a.m. on Sunday, January 31 and asked to attend a callback session from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. that day.

For more info: avltheatre@gmail.com

Don't think about this.
Just audition. If you are first-timer, the audition will be a fascinating, rewarding experience. Working with Ian Short, even during a brief audition, is an honor.

Pull 'em up -- and keep 'em up.

I wrote about droopy drawers a year ago May, and I thought I might have had more of a positive effect.

But, a year-end glance out the car window this week revealed that many of Today's Youth are hobbling around with their pleats at their knees.

And, speaking of Today's Youth.
Today, I was asked by a bright country lad, now working in the Woodland Paintball Industry and aspiring to serve our country in the United States Marine Corps, what I thought of young men whose pants sag.

Here's what I told him.
It's fashion, I do understand. And — just look at me — I don't know much about fashion.

But I do (think I) know common sense, and here's a dose:

1. The Marines won't go for it.
The moment you hit Parris Island, your pants will climb up on their own, if they know what's good for them.

The Marines have seen the movies. The ones where the wolfman or the boogie man chases people and kills them. He always catches the damsels in high heels. Or, presumably, the guys in low Levi's.

So the Marines see wearing belts as more than fashion. They see it as a good defensive tactic.

2. My clients wouldn't have been impressed.
When I was hiring people, I discriminated against job candidates without tight belts. (They aren't a protected class in EOE law.)

I figured, my clients would ask me: "Say, Artie, are you hiring the smartest people in the world?"

I would nod, yes.

"Then why can't they keep their pants from falling down?"

I might have said, "These folks are so smart, they can do the best work in town with only one hand — while the other hand holds up their pants." But I didn't believe it, so I just didn't hire such poorly attired, er, fashionable people.

3. Stay away from my family.
As the father of a 16-year-old daughter, don't come to my door for a date with your slacks a'slippin'.

You see, the father's primary interest — and your minimum standard — is to keep your pants on the entire evening. If you're on the front step and your pants are already 20% down the flagpole, this is not a good howdy-do.

As a father, I'd like to see your pants hiked up to your nipples. Your resultant chafing is of no concern to me. Thank you.

Otherwise, be gone and don't trip over your cuffs on the way down the walk.

Maybe This Is All My Problem
I've been accused of limiting my life by not welcoming self-destructive people.

Guilty as accused.

A Pic of His Junk

Thanks to Peter for bringing the Give It A Ponder campaign to my attention.

It's so great.

I don't know if it will sell any telephones.

But I do know that it raises issues of the ethics of speech. And deals with it intelligently.

The very existence of this campaign tells us that somewhere, someone cares about what you say.

I'm grateful.

My compliments to the actor James Lipton and the rest of the team:

Advertising Agency: Y&R New York, USA
Chief Creative Officers: Ian Reichenthal, Scott Vitrone
Global Creative Director: Darren Moran
ACD/Copywriter: John Battle
ACD/Art Director: Jeff Blouin Art Director: Evan Benedetto
Art Director: Jan Jaworski
Copywriter: Tara Lawall
Exec. Directors of Content Production: Lora Schulson, Nathy Aviram
Executive Producer: Alex Gianni
Production Company: Smith & Sons
Director: Ulf Johnansson
DP: Stephen Keith Roach
Executive Producer: Philippa Smith
Producer: Nicola Smith
Line Producer: Nancy Cannava
Editorial Company: Final Cut NY
Editor: Carlos Arias
Assistant Editor: Sonejuhi Sinha
Executive Producer: Stephanie Apt
Producer: Viet-An Nguyen
FX’s Company: Smoke & Mirrors NY
Lead Flame Artist: Nic Seresin
Creative Director: Sean Broughton
Executive Producer: Sue Romweber
Producer: Barbara Kontarovich
Audio Companies: Sound Lounge NY, Final Cut Audio NY

Mixers: Philip Loeb, Terressa Tate

On Better Brainstorming

What a month.

If I'm counting correctly, I've lead more than 30 hours of brainstorming during the past 30 days.

Some of it has been informal, like a training session I led for my friend Ken Ackerman's Vistage group.

But most of it has been highly structured.
A major corporation, determined to innovate, has me leading groups of smart people in an aggressive initiative to generate and develop ideas for a competitive marketplace.

The client there — confidentiality is sacred on this project — came up with the best idea so far. He's got a mind for management. At our first planning meeting, he said, "We need ideas. But we aren't especially creative people. We're smart, but just too close to the problem. We need someone to sit on our side of the table, helping us to be more creative, so we can get more ideas out of ourselves and our outside resources."

That was a powerful idea. And it placed me in the corporate kitchen. Suddenly (after 20 years of preparation), I'm their corporate creative counsel — leading brainstorms and encouraging innovation. And, man o man, is it ever productive. It's amazing and delightful how many good ideas can boil up, when the pot is stirred.

Getting Started
Whenever I lead a brainstorm, we start by creating YES! Space, as I've been taught by the inspiring folks at Improvedge with Karen Hough's YES! DECK.

Then, we warm up with a practice mini-brainstorm. We brainstorm our own ground rules for our brainstorming. It's a nice, ironic start. And an easy way for me to demonstrate some of the ways we do not want anyone to brainstorm.

If you are working with a team of folks, here's how to design your brainstorm process.

And here's Go Artie!, a personal brainstorming tool.

Why rules? Isn't this brainstorming, dude?
Yes, brainstorming is best when it's open minded. But "open minded" doesn't mean a reckless disregard for the question-at-hand and the intended outcomes.

So, for principled brainstorming, we need some guidelines.

Here's The Best Guidelines
After having so many groups brainstorm on their own rules, I've assembled Brainstorming Guidelines.

After all, you probably have some need for a few fresh ideas. So brainstorm!

Maybe this list is missing something. If so, let me know.

One Cup of Coffee

Ever sit for 45 minutes with someone and he reads your mind and soul?

Columbus Alive! Reporter John Ross gave me a lesson in listening a couple weeks ago. He asked about 10 fun questions and — within a day — produced this.

Good friends have said, "He really captured your voice."

Thanks, John.

Last Roll of 2009, your official invitation

When the going gets tough, the tough get bowling.

My Lifelong Belief: Every great year includes some bowling.

Status for 2009: You haven't bowled yet this year.

So it's come to this...

Plan: We are going bowling before nightfall on New Year's Eve.

Why before nightfall?
Because I leave nighttime on New Year's Eve to the professionals. I am strictly amateur. (I'm an aspiring bowler, like I'm an aspiring actor. I hit some of the pins; sometimes they fall down.)

You are invited.
But it's not much of an invitation. You'll pay for your own food, beverages, and shoes. Or you can just watch. (Available Light is paying for the lanes.)

Some snacks will be provided. (You can buy more if you like. They have a really very nice kitchen.) You can buy your own drinks. Except some drinks will be provided for those who make a donation large enough to please Emily Rhodes, Available Light's board chair of development. See redundant details later.

When: Thursday, December 31, 2009, 3:30 p.m. We will clear out of there by 6:30 p.m.

Where: Ten Pin Alley & Spike's. Here are directions to 5499 Constitution Blvd., Hilliard. (614) 876-2475

RSVP: If you are coming, write me a note with your name and whether or not you will be bowling (or just gabbing, cheering, drinking and eating). That way, we can reserve enough lanes. Lane assignments (and, therefore, bowling companions) will be higgelty-piggelty.

Please remember: this is pay-your-own-way.

We used to call that "Dutch treat," but it wasn't kind to the Netherlanders.

I saw one of them with the bumper sticker: "If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much."

Except Your (Almost, Kinda)
Free Beverage From Available Light Theatre
Available Light's Minister of Fun Emily Rhodes will once again make things joyously mercenary. She says:

For anyone who comes to the bowling party AND makes a donation to Available Light Theatre (either by check that day or online that day at www.avltheatre.com), I will purchase you a nice beverage.

It'll be your last chance to make a donation this tax year!

Why Bowling?

1. Bowling is America's #1 participation sport. We bowl, not only because we are Americans. We bowl so that we may be Americans. If bowling were a holiday, it would be Thanksgiving, the American holiday.
2. Bowling is a wonderful physics experiment. Through bowling, we learn about inertia and the exertion of force. We are reminded, tangibly, that our actions have consequences.
3. Bowling is a wonderful psychology experiment. Through bowling, we learn about inertia and the exertion of force. We are reminded, tangibly, that our actions have consequences.

Coming? If so, let me know.

Consider The Mockingbird

When I played Felix Unger in The Odd Couple, I found myself becoming more Felix.

I don't mean to claim that I'm some sort of method actor. That's too big a claim for a guy who can still claim to be an aspiring actor.

Mark Berman (the BUGMAN) asks, "When does one stop claiming to be aspiring?"

Never, in my opinion. I learned this from Kathy Sullivan, who is still learning how to fly that airplane.

Becoming Felix
Method actors or not, when we are forced to memorize lines and rehearse for a month as someone with a variety of issues — marital, obsessive compulsive, despondency — we certainly start to become Felix.

Mrs. Isaac agreed. During the final week of rehearsal, she validated my transformation: "You really are just like Felix," she complimented me. "Except you don't cook or clean." Ouch.

The lesson: choose roles wisely, for the actor takes on — temporarily, at least — the attributes of the character.

The Roles In Life
This is true for more than aspiring actors. This is true for all of us playing roles in business, in community, in life. The role becomes you. Is the role becoming to you?

Gandhi taught (as I learned from Michael Burton at Columbus School for Girls):

Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

As actors on stage and in life, we can boil this down: Your role becomes your destiny.

Might as well pick the next role carefully.

Becoming Atticus
So, asking Matt Slaybaugh to let me be Atticus Finch was easy.

Atticus is ethical, moral, courtly, parental, and — when portrayed by Gregory Peck — handsome as a GQ model.

Well, I'm delighted to pretend to be ethical, moral, courtly and parental. And I do think that Mr. Peck was a great choice for Atticus decades ago. But, wait a minute: isn't the role more interesting if Atticus is vulnerable, if he might lose more than his court case?

Casting Peck in the role was a Hollywood decision appropriate for the era. Today? William H. Macy, or some actor who might fail in every way.

I told my kids that vulnerability is well within my acting range. They snorted.

Like what you're reading? Here's a later post on the ugly language in To Kill a Mockingbird.

Want To Join Me On Stage?
Oh, finally, this is the purpose of this post.

It would be wonderful if you would audition for a role in this coming June's community performances of To Kill A Mockingbird.

Please come. This is your invitation to audition.

And please tell your friends. There are many roles, large to small, for a variety of ages. We especially need black actors, again for roles large to small.

Here are the details:

Audition for To Kill a Mockingbird dramatized by Christopher Sergel from the Pulitzer prize-winning 1960 novel by Harper Lee. Directed by Ian Short.

OPEN CALL: Friday, January 29, 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. (show-up anytime)
OPEN CALL: Saturday, January 30, 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. (show-up anytime)
CALLBACKS: Sunday, January 31, 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. (by invitation only)

Location: the Vern Riffe Center - Enter on State Street, go to the third floor and you'll be escorted to the audition room.

Performances June 24-27, 2010. Most rehearsals will be in the evening, Sundays-Thursdays, beginning in May.

This is an independent, community theatre production and a fundraiser for Available Light Theatre. Actors will not be paid.

REQUIRED: One monologue, two minutes or less, prepared material preferred; cold readings will be available for those who need them.

CALLBACKS: If you are called back, you will be notified by email by 11 a.m. on Sunday, January 31 and asked to attend a callback session from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. that day.

For more info: avltheatre@gmail.com

Don't think about this.
Just audition. If you are first-timer, the audition will be a fascinating, rewarding experience. Working with Ian Short, even during a brief audition, is an honor.

I am a message in search of an audience.

Perhaps I have figured out, finally, what I am?

I am a message in search of an audience.
The message has to do with ethics, primarily ethical speech.

And the audiences I seek are:

• creativity seekers, for whom ethical speech can help them discover, recover and heighten the power of their self-expression.
• young people (age 50 and younger), whose parents have instilled the fear of adulthood in their kids, stalling them as prodigies. ("All children are prodigies, until told otherwise." Who said that?)
• business people, whose bosses have (similarly) instilled the fear of the economy in their employees, stalling them as idea generators.
• theatrical audiences, who crave more than entertainment — they crave learning and enlightenment.

Like A Futon Pretending To Be A Couch
I am a creativity teacher, levering the power of ethical speech in the creative process. I am an ethics teacher, masquerading as a college instructor, corporate creativity counsel, marketing strategist, corporate trainer, coach, actor, and public speaker.

Oh, and writer.

This is still a germ of an idea.
But this idea, I believe, is clearly implied in the speech I gave this month at the Columbus Metropolitan Club, the most intellectually curious, engaged audience in town.

If you want to see and hear that speech, click here.

For the fullest, truest experience, eat salmon while watching the video. That's what the CMC members did that day.

A Poem on Creativity

Never Again Would Bird's Song Be the Same
Robert Frost

He would declare and could himself believe
That the birds there in all the garden round
From having heard the daylong voice of Eve
Had added to their own an oversound,
Her tone of meaning but without the words.
Admittedly an eloquence so soft
Could only have had an influence on birds
When call or laughter carried it aloft.
Be that as may be, she was in their song.
Moreover her voice upon their voices crossed
Had now persisted in the woods so long
That probably it never would be lost.
Never again would birds' song be the same.
And to do that to birds was why she came.

The Difference a Day Makes

Opening night amplified all my pre-show anxiety. As you already know.

Dry mouth, from the moment I stepped on the stage. The three drinks of water I'm permitted — at specific times in the script, because the director is my zookeeper — did me no good. It was as if the mug was filled with salt.

And the shaking. I was shaking uncontrollably. That subsided after ten long minutes.

But the dry mouth. From start to finish. (And, no, I'm not going to try putting Vaseline on my teeth.)  

And — for a long, private moment — I was lost — lost — in the flow of the show. Only those who have worked on the show knew it, perhaps, but it was long enough for this little conversation in my head:

Artie [finishes line and moves to another part of the stage, according to the blocking], silently thinking: "O.K. What's the next thing? Dang. What did I just do? Oh, yeah, of course. That's what I just did. The next thing surely follows logically. Hmmm, maybe it's here in the 'prop' script, the one that Doke used to use. No! Of course, it's not. Because the next part comes from me and my legendary memory. Artie, this is no time for self-deprecating sarcasm. Nothing. What would Thich Nhat Hahn do? Breathe. No time for that. Breathe later. Dang, but there sure are a lot of people here for an opening night. I hope they're happy. [Flips a few pages.] Nothing. What the hell am I doing? I have to restart this show. No one can help me. Help me."

I actually gave thought to starting another play. Not later. Right then.

Crazy.

After the show, Matt Slaybaugh offered only one note: tomorrow, do the same, just be more confident.

O.K.

And last night was very different.
Different from opening day, yesterday was delightful, mainly with meetings with clients on non-show business. And breakfast with the other playwrights, Matt Slaybaugh and Sean Christopher Lewis, who flew in for last night's show.

And I drank a lot of water all day. A lot.

And dinner with Alisa, early. A pile of pasta. Nice.

The nerves were gentle all day. After all, when I dropped a line opening night, nobody died. There were no lawsuits pending.

And so, the second show went so nicely. Smooth. Fun. Disjointed by design. (Place that on my tombstone.)

And a sell-out. Don, the theater manager, came back stage to ask if a chair could be added, making sure that we knew about it, so we wouldn't fall over it in the dark of the show. (The show is well lit from the audience's point of view, but everywhere Jo Anne and I look is dark, dark, dark.)

Adding one chair doesn't sound like a lot. But it meant a full house. And that, my friend, is a beautiful thing.

Backstage
Jo Anne and I really enjoy our time in the pre-show quarantine.

We sit in our little dressing room, hung with memorabilia about the show, some Christmas lights, pictures of my father and son. And we chat about holidays, theatre, our show, small notes about the blocking — and our lives, our families, and the meaning of it all.

We limber up. We bend our knees. I do 10 jumping jacks and say, "Never, never, never, never..." to loosen my voice. And about five other pre-show (and pre-public-speaking) rituals.

Production manager Dave Wallingford comes through every so often to tell us how many minutes are left.

Finally, Dave comes through one last time and says, simply, "Places." And we step into the wings and wait for our sound cue, the pre-show announcement.

The Low Down
In her online piece, Irene Alvarez (from Experience Columbus) quotes her husband's reaction to the work of Available Light,  "It’s unlike any other things I’ve seen. It enlightens you while you’re being entertained."

I long to live up to that standard. That is a goal for my life.

If you want to see this show (oh, please do), tickets are available online through 4 p.m. for today's 8 p.m. show — and through 10 a.m. for tomorrow's 2 p.m. matinee. After those automatic online shutoffs, any remaining available tickets will be sold at the door before the show.

I do hope you join us for this.

After all, it's the Net Cotton Content company office party.