Still cheating on my wife

She was gorgeous and we were alone. It was more than 10 years ago, during "office hours" at my campus office at Ohio State. I was teaching undergraduates and this one had come to me for a private conversation about our promotional strategies class.   

Shortly after "hello," she smiled and offered this summary: "Professor Isaac, I'd do anything for an A."

"What?" I asked. I'd heard the proposition quite clearly, but "What?" was all that came to my mouth.

She repeated her statement: "I'd do anything for an A. Anything for you. Anything."

Did I already tell you that she was gorgeous and we were alone? She was. We were.

"You'd do anything for me?" I asked. "Anything?"

"Anything," she assured me. As the old joke goes, she'd offered her honor. And I might honor her offer. (And that's how I'd be all day, on her and off her?) 

"Anything, huh," I thought. The possibilities were tantalizing. "Would you...umm...."

I looked deep into her eyes and spoke very slowly: "Would you...read the assigned readings...speak up in class...do really well on the midterm and final? Would you do that for me?"

"Yes," she said quietly, looking down. The conversation was quickly over. She left the office.

I've often thought about how lucky I was. (Not how I almost got lucky.) If she'd been angered by my smart-ass, sincere rejection, she might have falsely claimed I'd sexually harassed her. She could have left the office shouting about how I had propositioned her. In any case, she seemed embarrassed and I was sorry for that.

But I was also angry. "Anything," I thought, but never said: "Gee, to win an A you would do anything? You mean you would be willing to ruin my marriage, divide my assets in a divorce, and irreparably harm my life and the lives of my wife and kids? You'd be willing to get me fired from Ohio State? You'd do all that for me? For an A?"

Ever since then, I haven't held office hours. I don't meet individually with students in private. I'll meet them over lunch in restaurants or for conversations in Young Isaac's glass-walled conference rooms. They come to dinner with my family. Or we meet in groups of more than three people. Otherwise, it's just too easy to accuse an aging geek in a bow tie of lustful impropriety.

And you know how this world simply loves the fall of man.

What a country.

For more on this awkward topic, click here.

Comments

[Elaine Weinert]

Many need to read this.

[Marie R.]

This story reminds me of "The Life of David Gale." Have you seen this movie? Of course, in the movie version, Kevin Spacey's character actually does sleep with the student, and his life falls apart as a result.

[Artie writes: As I see it, the screenplay for "The Life of Artie Isaac" will be less of a commercial success, but play well at the real HBO, our home's box office.]

[Chris Lynch]

I wasn't sure that this actually ocurred in the academic world. My former playground was entertainment and I have seen and heard about WAY more than I care to remember. Truly disgusting, all those who participate in such an 'exchange of services.' More so when the 'results' show up onstage in front of the whole world. Geez, if only people would put as much energy into creation and caring as they do in 'macking' on the next 'target.'

[douglasmorgan]

Hey, Artie.....I was just in Sturgis last week and met a lot of straight A students......you are truly a good soul.

[Ashley V. Routson]

In light of this story, I do not think it is appropriate to tell you how I was able to aquire all my A's in college (and oooh there were a lot of them).

Although I joke, I am extremely appalled by this story. Being a recent graduate & an advocate of women's rights, hearing that young women are willing to use such disgraceful tactics disturbs me to great levels. The educational system unfortunately involves objective decision making processes and is not always as fair as idealistic individuals like myself would want to believe.

[Donna J. Shepherd]

I had to read this after I saw the tantalizing title. Good for you! Show how smart (as if there's any doubt...) you are to meet in public. As you know, my husband is a pastor, and he has the same concerns. It's a shame, but only prudent to protect yourself.

Bless you,
Donna (your fellow aging geek :)